jokes that no one but me thinks are funny.

*Did you hear about the man who lost his left side? -he's doing alright.

*What do you call a cow with no legs? -ground beef.

*What do you call a cow with only two legs? -lean beef

*Did you hear about the sidewalk? -it's all around town

*What did batman say to robin before he got in the car? -robin get in the car

*What did the dog say to the tree? -bark

*What did the digital watch say to his mom? -look ma no hands

*What do you call a sleeping cow? -a bulldozer

*When is a car, not a car? - when it turns into a driveway

*What do you call a guy who never farts in public? -a private tutor

*What's black white black white black white black white black white black white? -a penguin rolling down the stairs

*What do a grape and a car have in common? -they both have wheels, except the grape

*Why is E.T. so poor? -he has a huge phonebill

*What does one casket say to another casket?-is that you coffin

Two muffins are in an oven. One says man it's hot in here. The other says omg a talking muffin!